Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim
Be patient and strong, someday this pain will be useful to you

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

I'm back and still in debt!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin So it has been a while (understatement of the century) but I need to blog about this stuff to keep my sanity. I'm 39 and in less debt than the last time I blogged I haven't used credit for more than 3 years I don't have an overdraft I'm still a shopping addict, but like an alcoholic using AA I consider myself in recovery. I know it's a lifelong condition though so I daren't think for a second that I'm better. I have been reading all sorts of inspiring stuff over on and and I'm using YNAB which I must do a whole blog post on because it has changed how I view money and spend it, which for someone with my problem is pretty amazing. More later Jx

Monday, 13 August 2012

Budget living woes

Hi all,
I sold the carrier that I should never have bought, and also sold some live role play costume that I'm not using any more. The funds just vanished into the current account and seemingly didn't touch the sides. This month would have been horribly sparse without that extra coming in. I really am freaking out about how we are going to manage on the DMP budget for another 6 years.

 DD1's bargain birthday went pretty well, the only traumas were the sort that overwrought 6 yr olds cause and nothing to do with any debt / lack of money issues.

We are incredibly lucky that my Dad is able to help us financially, and last week he bailed us out again when our car broke a spring and needed £250ish of repairs. I am equally mortified that age 37 I am still needing his help and pathetically grateful that he can help out when we need him to.

DMP wise we are waiting to hear from creditors who CCCS will have contacted re the new lower payment offers since we lost our child tax credit / working tax credit...I can't remember which is which *shame*.

Payday on wednesday and need to take DD for school uniform and some normal clothes too, she's shot up in the last couple of months and everything is too short for her now. As much as I love shopping, I hate that I have to buy frugally for her now I want to argue to DH that it makes more sense to buy quality that will last to be handed down to DD2, but he is sadly right when he says that we can't afford quality and it has to be Primarni or second hand. He also doesn't want DD2 to have to wear all hand me downs as she gets older.

I hate that my girls are paying for my stupidity and selfishness

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Back from outer space

Hello again, it's been a while!

Brief update

DD2 "Lexie" born 15/3/11  she's amazing and a total joy, apart from the not sleeping thing but hey ho!

DH left his job when she was 3 weeks old, he had a breakdown and just quit with no warning. Needless to say that was a bit stressful, and didn't exactly help with the being in debt situation.

Fast forward to now

DH is a SAHD who works one day a week
I'm back at work full time but compressed into 4 days, so I do 4 ten or eleven hour shifts in a week.

We are on a DMP (debt management plan) with CCCS and if our income stays the same we will have paid it off in 4 yrs and 10 months. The budget is really strict and leaves no money for "treats", we are only one month in and already I'm pretty depressed about having to scrape by.

I remain credit card and store card free and have paid off
Marks and Spencer
Monsoon  debts which were about £1200 in total

I am still an addict however and have been backsliding a fair old bit in the last year by using paypal and purchasing (mainly) baby carriers and slings without telling DH, or telling him but lying about the cost :(

This month has been spectacularly bad and selfish, I sold a load of unused (previous addict spending) scrapbook stuff and rather than spending it on DD1's 6th birthday in 2 weeks, I spent it on a self indulgent baby carrier to make me feel popular and enviable.

I am still very shallow and weak, quelle surprise!

I've listed that carrier for sale on a facebook group for such things and will probably have to close my paypal account for safekeeping or get DH to change the password and keep it secret from me.

Friday, 11 March 2011

paying it forward

So once again I am stunned by the kindness of strangers. A very generous blog reader has sent me a fabulous breast pump after the post where I had several moments of madness in boots. The breastfeeding issue is a sensitive one for many women, we all know it is best for out babies but for some it is difficult or even impossible. I had a breast reduction surgery in 1999 and was told then that breastfeeding wouldn't be possible for me in the future. I wasn't worried, as a single 25 yr old with no plans for babies breastfeeding seemed a world away. Skip forward to 2006 and pregnant with DD1 I was gobsmackef when my frankenboobs decided to produce colostrum! Bear in mind that these nipples have been removed from my body, reduced in size and then replaced on boobs that were 9lbs lighter and 5 inches further north on my body. I began to think that breastfeeding might be possible at least I could try and feed straight after the birth. To cut a long story short all I managed was a colostrum feed immediately after birth. Our latch was rubbish and while still in hospital DD1 was throwing up blood from the nipples she'd ravaged. There was no help available at the hospital and at 3am in tears I asked for formula. This time I want to do better, again the frankenboobs are making colostrum and I have done more reading on breastfeeding after reduction surgery. I don't imagine I'll be able to bf exclusively but if I can mix feed I'll be satisfied. The pump will help maintain supply and DH will be able to feed from a bottle, plus I'll know how much I'm producing. Oh my due date is tomorrow but no sign of the girl just yet! So to the title of my post, paying it forward, I have sent a ringsling to a lady from natural mamas who is starting a sling library and some salon hair product to someone on the Damsels forum who was looking for the cheaper alternative. It felt nice to share in the spirit of random acts of Internet kindness. No other debt news at the moment, we are just focussed on getting the new baby safely into the world. Though I am happy to report that all baby purchases have been made using cash and not credit of any type.

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Yes I will spend a £10 gift voucher wisely thanks Johnnie

So I didn't succumb to the No Added Sugar sale, yay me etc ;)
But I did get a £10 gift voucher from Boden in the post, and I spent it wisely and didn't use it as an excuse to buy stuff that would be more affordable with £10 off, which I'm certain is their marketing strategy behind the giveaway.

I bought a top for DD1 which was £7.00 and free P+P thanks to another code, so that would be a totally free garment, huzzah!

Only a short post but a positive one for a change, which is nice :)

Thursday, 17 February 2011

No evil clearance sale I WILL NOT

Got an email this morning from No Added Sugar, they are a designer clothes brand for small people and they wanted to alert me to their clearance sale, which is kind of them.

So I idly clicked the link and surfed a little, no that would be a mistake...I found £50 worth of beautiful baby clothes for the impending daughter all at hugely reduced prices, 65% off that sort of thing.

I am sad that I can't afford to buy any of these things, but honestly do we need them? No. We've been given literally bags and bags of lovely baby clothes from our childminder and I bought 6 enormous boxes of newborn - 9 month clothes for £60 from a friend.

Baby, as much as I love you, mummy is trying to reform her character and raise you in a financially stable home. I hope you won't feel impoverished or as though you're missing out, but I am only going to spend money on things for you which are affordable and necessary.

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Wheels back on, wagon keeps rolling

My maternity leave is looming and I still don't have a plan in place, other than living to a v strict and scary budget. We've definitely decided against an IVA for reasons mentioned last month : too expensive, restrictive and would cost us more than we owe!

The DMP may have to be an option in September when we'll be paying for two small people at childcare again.

In the meantime the strict and scary budget is going pretty well! I no longer have access to a debit or credit card and instead am on a £30 allowance. Here's how it works, on Monday's DH hands over £30 in cash and I have to spend that and that alone for the next 7 days.
£10 goes on my bus fare home from work each day and the rest is mine to fritter away on rubbish. In a not very surprising move I negotiated an advance last month in order to buy some limited edition Urban Decay eyeliners

ta daaaa

So for 4 weeks my allowance is £15 and £15 a week is going to pay for the beautimous box of eyeliners ( £60 for 12 eyeliners sounds bonkers but they are normally £12 each so it's actually a bargain!)

I'm on my 3rd week of £15 allowance and it was all going splendidly until Monday when the wheels fell off my wagon. At 36 weeks pregnant it is probably time to be packing my hospital bag, so I asked DH if I could have my debit card in order to buy the essentials from Boots during my lunch hour. Note at this point that I said "essentials", well the inevitable happened and instead of just buying
maternity mats - for the bed in case my waters break at night
breast pads - inevitable leakage
tena pants - don't laugh, they are so much better than maternity pads

I also bought
Hipp organic formula - £6.99 we'll be bottle feeding owing to my breast reduction
small packet of mini eggs - £0.69 I was hungry
changing mat - £6.12 we do need a new one but it's in next months budget
maternity bubble bath - £3.05 my skin is scarily parched
pregnancy wonderbalm - £0.00 was buy one get one free with bubble bath
V Cute blouse for Em - £5 in the sale
stripy leggings for Em - £2.50 in the sale
Breast pump - £13.65 I want to try and express if poss

Do you see the extent of my problem now? Admittedly none of these are scarily frivolous or rubbish purchases but we can't afford for me to overspend by £30 every time I have a debit card in my hand.
DH was fairly pissed off and I took the changing mat and breast pump back for a refund the very next day, Em had already seen and loved her new clothes, I'd eaten the mini eggs and the formula and toiletries are coming out of this week's food shopping budget :(

Speaking of the food budget I'm doing a weekly online shop and keeping it to under £70 each week, this week is £51! which I'm bizarrely proud of, I wonder if I'll ever get as big a rush from saving as from shopping?