tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86231732688653221272024-03-13T01:01:55.089+00:00stopping-shoppingJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-85818480806289389362014-05-28T17:02:00.003+01:002014-05-28T17:02:35.982+01:00I'm back and still in debt!<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/2217840/?claim=564vsehq3kx">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>
So it has been a while (understatement of the century) but I need to blog about this stuff to keep my sanity.
I'm 39 and in less debt than the last time I blogged
I haven't used credit for more than 3 years
I don't have an overdraft
I'm still a shopping addict, but like an alcoholic using AA I consider myself in recovery. I know it's a lifelong condition though so I daren't think for a second that I'm better.
I have been reading all sorts of inspiring stuff over on http://debtbustingchick.com/ and http://www.sixfiguresunder.com/
and I'm using YNAB http://www.youneedabudget.com which I must do a whole blog post on because it has changed how I view money and spend it, which for someone with my problem is pretty amazing.
More later Jx
Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-59249804583485471522012-08-13T12:59:00.000+01:002012-08-13T12:59:31.630+01:00Budget living woesHi all,<br />
I sold the carrier that I should never have bought, and also sold some live role play costume that I'm not using any more. The funds just vanished into the current account and seemingly didn't touch the sides. This month would have been horribly sparse without that extra coming in. I really am freaking out about how we are going to manage on the DMP budget for another 6 years.<br />
<br />
DD1's bargain birthday went pretty well, the only traumas were the sort that overwrought 6 yr olds cause and nothing to do with any debt / lack of money issues.<br />
<br />
We are incredibly lucky that my Dad is able to help us financially, and last week he bailed us out again when our car broke a spring and needed £250ish of repairs. I am equally mortified that age 37 I am still needing his help and pathetically grateful that he can help out when we need him to. <br />
<br />
<br />
DMP wise we are waiting to hear from creditors who CCCS will have contacted re the new lower payment offers since we lost our child tax credit / working tax credit...I can't remember which is which *shame*.<br />
<br />
Payday on wednesday and need to take DD for school uniform and some normal clothes too, she's shot up in the last couple of months and everything is too short for her now. As much as I love shopping, I hate that I have to buy frugally for her now I want to argue to DH that it makes more sense to buy quality that will last to be handed down to DD2, but he is sadly right when he says that we can't afford quality and it has to be Primarni or second hand. He also doesn't want DD2 to have to wear all hand me downs as she gets older.<br />
<br />
I hate that my girls are paying for my stupidity and selfishness<br /><br />
<br />
Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-46068429570201125352012-07-19T16:21:00.003+01:002012-08-13T12:33:58.468+01:00Back from outer spaceHello again, it's been a while!<br />
<br />
Brief update<br />
<br />
DD2 "Lexie" born 15/3/11 she's amazing and a total joy, apart from the not sleeping thing but hey ho!<br />
<br />
DH left his job when she was 3 weeks old, he had a breakdown and just quit with no warning. Needless to say that was a bit stressful, and didn't exactly help with the being in debt situation.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to now<br />
<br />
DH is a SAHD who works one day a week<br />
I'm back at work full time but compressed into 4 days, so I do 4 ten or eleven hour shifts in a week.<br />
<br />
<br />
We are on a DMP (debt management plan) with CCCS and if our income stays the same we will have paid it off in 4 yrs and 10 months. The budget is really strict and leaves no money for "treats", we are only one month in and already I'm pretty depressed about having to scrape by.<br />
<br />
<br />
I remain credit card and store card free and have paid off<br />
Next<br />
Marks and Spencer<br />
Monsoon debts which were about £1200 in total <br />
<br />
<br />
I am still an addict however and have been backsliding a fair old bit in the last year by using paypal and purchasing (mainly) baby carriers and slings without telling DH, or telling him but lying about the cost :(<br />
<br />
This month has been spectacularly bad and selfish, I sold a load of unused (previous addict spending) scrapbook stuff and rather than spending it on DD1's 6th birthday in 2 weeks, I spent it on a self indulgent baby carrier to make me feel popular and enviable.<br />
<br />
I am still very shallow and weak, quelle surprise!<br />
<br />
I've listed that carrier for sale on a facebook group for such things and will probably have to close my paypal account for safekeeping or get DH to change the password and keep it secret from me.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-68527464448157046762011-03-11T15:40:00.001+00:002011-03-11T15:40:32.397+00:00paying it forwardSo once again I am stunned by the kindness of strangers. A very generous blog reader has sent me a fabulous breast pump after the post where I had several moments of madness in boots.
The breastfeeding issue is a sensitive one for many women, we all know it is best for out babies but for some it is difficult or even impossible. I had a breast reduction surgery in 1999 and was told then that breastfeeding wouldn't be possible for me in the future. I wasn't worried, as a single 25 yr old with no plans for babies breastfeeding seemed a world away. Skip forward to 2006 and pregnant with DD1 I was gobsmackef when my frankenboobs decided to produce colostrum! Bear in mind that these nipples have been removed from my body, reduced in size and then replaced on boobs that were 9lbs lighter and 5 inches further north on my body. I began to think that breastfeeding might be possible at least I could try and feed straight after the birth.
To cut a long story short all I managed was a colostrum feed immediately after birth. Our latch was rubbish and while still in hospital DD1 was throwing up blood from the nipples she'd ravaged. There was no help available at the hospital and at 3am in tears I asked for formula.
This time I want to do better, again the frankenboobs are making colostrum and I have done more reading on breastfeeding after reduction surgery. I don't imagine I'll be able to bf exclusively but if I can mix feed I'll be satisfied. The pump will help maintain supply and DH will be able to feed from a bottle, plus I'll know how much I'm producing.
Oh my due date is tomorrow but no sign of the girl just yet!
So to the title of my post, paying it forward, I have sent a ringsling to a lady from natural mamas who is starting a sling library and some salon hair product to someone on the Damsels forum who was looking for the cheaper alternative.
It felt nice to share in the spirit of random acts of Internet kindness.
No other debt news at the moment, we are just focussed on getting the new baby safely into the world. Though I am happy to report that all baby purchases have been made using cash and not credit of any type. Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-66605822357578974572011-02-19T20:46:00.002+00:002011-02-19T20:50:35.227+00:00Yes I will spend a £10 gift voucher wisely thanks JohnnieSo I didn't succumb to the No Added Sugar sale, yay me etc ;)<br />But I did get a £10 gift voucher from Boden in the post, and I spent it wisely and didn't use it as an excuse to buy stuff that would be more affordable with £10 off, which I'm certain is their marketing strategy behind the giveaway.<br /><br />I bought a top for DD1 which was £7.00 and free P+P thanks to another code, so that would be a totally free garment, huzzah!<br /><br />Only a short post but a positive one for a change, which is nice :)Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-50569464987291790772011-02-17T12:42:00.002+00:002011-02-17T13:50:53.993+00:00No evil clearance sale I WILL NOTGot an email this morning from No Added Sugar, they are a designer clothes brand for small people and they wanted to alert me to their clearance sale, which is kind of them.<br /><br />So I idly clicked the link and surfed a little, no that would be a mistake...I found £50 worth of beautiful baby clothes for the impending daughter all at hugely reduced prices, 65% off that sort of thing.<br /><br />I am sad that I can't afford to buy any of these things, but honestly do we need them? No. We've been given literally bags and bags of lovely baby clothes from our childminder and I bought 6 enormous boxes of newborn - 9 month clothes for £60 from a friend.<br /><br />Baby, as much as I love you, mummy is trying to reform her character and raise you in a financially stable home. I hope you won't feel impoverished or as though you're missing out, but I am only going to spend money on things for you which are affordable and necessary.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-75105237220632838962011-02-16T10:18:00.002+00:002011-02-16T10:45:05.699+00:00Wheels back on, wagon keeps rollingMy maternity leave is looming and I still don't have a plan in place, other than living to a v strict and scary budget. We've definitely decided against an IVA for reasons mentioned last month : too expensive, restrictive and would cost us more than we owe!<br /><br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">DMP</span> may have to be an option in September when we'll be paying for two small people at childcare again.<br /><br />In the meantime the strict and scary budget is going pretty well! I no longer have access to a debit or credit card and instead am on a £30 allowance. Here's how it works, on Monday's DH hands over £30 in cash and I have to spend that and that alone for the next 7 days.<br />£10 goes on my bus fare home from work each day and the rest is mine to fritter away on rubbish. In a not very surprising move I negotiated an advance last month in order to buy some limited edition Urban Decay eyeliners<br /><br />ta <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">daaaa</span> <a href="http://www.temptalia.com/urban-decay-15th-anniversary-247-eyeliner-set-review-photos-swatches">http://www.temptalia.com/urban-decay-15th-anniversary-247-eyeliner-set-review-photos-swatches</a><br /><br />So for 4 weeks my allowance is £15 and £15 a week is going to pay for the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">beautimous</span> box of eyeliners ( £60 for 12 eyeliners sounds bonkers but they are normally £12 each so it's actually a bargain!)<br /><br />I'm on my 3rd week of £15 allowance and it was all going splendidly until Monday when the wheels fell off my wagon. At 36 weeks pregnant it is probably time to be packing my hospital bag, so I asked DH if I could have my debit card in order to buy the essentials from Boots during my lunch hour. Note at this point that I said "essentials", well the inevitable happened and instead of just buying<br />maternity mats - for the bed in case my waters break at night<br />breast pads - inevitable leakage<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">tena</span> pants - don't laugh, they are so much better than maternity pads<br /><br />I also bought<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Hipp</span> organic formula - £6.99 we'll be bottle feeding owing to my breast reduction<br />small packet of mini eggs - £0.69 I was hungry<br />changing mat - £6.12 we do need a new one but it's in next months budget<br />maternity bubble bath - £3.05 my skin is scarily parched<br />pregnancy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">wonderbalm</span> - £0.00 was buy one get one free with bubble bath<br />V Cute blouse for Em - £5 in the sale<br />stripy leggings for Em - £2.50 in the sale<br />Breast pump - £13.65 I want to try and express if poss<br /><br />Do you see the extent of my problem now? Admittedly none of these are scarily frivolous or rubbish purchases but we can't afford for me to overspend by £30 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">every time</span> I have a debit card in my hand.<br />DH was fairly pissed off and I took the changing mat and breast pump back for a refund the very next day, Em had already seen and loved her new clothes, I'd eaten the mini eggs and the formula and toiletries are coming out of this week's food shopping budget :(<br /><br />Speaking of the food budget I'm doing a weekly online shop and keeping it to under £70 each week, this week is £51! which I'm bizarrely proud of, I wonder if I'll ever get as big a rush from saving as from shopping?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-5595928476487248032011-01-10T16:07:00.002+00:002011-01-10T16:09:34.959+00:00A busy couple of days in the stopping shopping household.<br />I managed to get a phone consultation with Payplan on Sunday. Spent an hour and a half talking to their rep Bill who was very thorough and seemed upfront and honest.<br />He doesn't think an IVA is the best option for me/us as we would be repaying more than I currently owe and Dh's disposable income is factored into the debt payment.<br />He suggests a DMP as the better option.<br /><br />Pros<br />possibility of freezing interest.<br />Only takes my disposable income into account when working out payments.<br />We would be paying £100 less on debt than we are presently.<br />Potential to be debt free in 4 yrs 9 months<br /><br />Cons<br />Shags up my credit rating.<br />Would shag up Dh's credit rating too as we are joint account holders on a v overdrawn bank account.<br /><br />IVA<br />Pros<br />legally binding on both parties so creditors can't ramp up interest etc<br />All interest frozen.<br />Debt free in 5 yrs<br /><br />Cons<br />Shags up credit rating<br />Shags up Dh's credit rating<br />My name goes on the personal Insolvency register, could have long term repercussions.<br />Dh's disposable income is factored into the repayment amount.<br />End up repaying more than I owe..by £10K!!!!!<br />Could be forced to refinance mortgage in yr 5 if equity has increased<br /><br />Living on budget / snowballing<br />Pros<br />no effect on either credit rating.<br />Debt free in 7yrs approx.<br />Sense of personal achievement<br /><br />Cons<br />Longest time to solution.<br />Hard to stick to budget.<br /><br />I think we are going to do the budget thing, with a side order of increasing our borrowing with the mortgage company in order to repay the overdraft, thus clearing DH from all involvement in any future DMP shenanigans.<br /><br />What do you think?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-73598579552077977222011-01-07T14:55:00.000+00:002011-01-07T15:58:20.551+00:00Bank good!With a heart full of trepidation and angst I went to the RBS for the meeting today with Jack my "customer adviser"<br />It all went pretty well! I was immediately upfront, probably too upfront but hey ho at least he knew where I stood and said<br /><br />"I'm in the poo and don't want you to try and sell me any products or further credit please"<br /><br />I went through my big debts and the impending issue of DD2 and basically asked for his suggestions on how to reduce my level of overrall debt. In a nutshell his suggestion is to approach our mortgage provider to extend our mortgage to 90% loan to value and then repay a big chunk of the debt. He feels that nuking the credit rating is too risky as we may need to remortgage / move in the future and lenders are being so hard core in terms of high risk borrowers that he thinks it's worth protecting the credit rating if possible.<br /><br />My initial reaction is<br />"gaaaaah a secured loan to pay off all the rubbish I've spent money on is a shite concept"<br />but also<br />"hmmm makes sense to pay debtors off at 4% rather than 18% +"<br /><br />Any thoughts?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-36062216707141368402011-01-06T15:07:00.000+00:002011-01-06T15:08:41.601+00:00New year new regimeI am having a tough time at the moment, the IVA looks like being a non starter and the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">payplan</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">CCCS</span> people are all hugely busy with other new year destitute types.<br /><br /><br />I found myself revisiting some very dangerous websites yesterday and was in exactly the right frame of mind to buy a Mulberry Roxanne bag in Antique Glace Plum leather for £200...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ahhh</span> the purse forum and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ebay</span> how I miss your temptations. I didn't buy anything yesterday though unless you count my chicken slice from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Greggs</span> at lunchtime!<br /><br /><br />I feel very "at risk" in terms of my spending, so I've given DH my debit card and asked him to give me a cash allowance every week for the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">foreseeable</span> future. I just don't trust myself not to have a massive splurge. If I had access to credit right now I would buy literally anything to get that brief glow of satisfaction and feeling of worth and belonging, only problem is that they charge 17.9% APR on it and the brief glow is replaced by hours of nausea and self loathing.<br />In another tale of changing bank account woe, it seems that my loan payment with the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">RBS</span> has to come out of an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">RBS</span> bank account so when I instructed the Co-op to change all my direct debits they did... Apart from this one, so this month the £254 has been taken out of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">RBS</span> account and tipped me over my £3200 overdraft. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Fecking</span> arse biscuits!<br /><br /><br />Went to see the bank today, waddled in looking every inch a 7 month pregnant lady at the end of her tether. Helpfully the branch manager has refunded the £35 charges and made an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">appt</span> for me to see one of their customer service <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">advisors</span> tomorrow to discuss how we might repay the overdraft etc.<br /><br /><br />I'm not overly keen on this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">appt</span>, as I'm fairly sure they will try and sell me on another loan or taking out home and contents insurance with them. The branch manager asked 3 times who we were insured by and said " well we can bring your premium down by at least £5 a month"<br />They see me as an easy sales mark and I am dreading talking to someone in a suit face to face about my financial mess. Equally the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">RBS</span> will only really be interested in getting their money back and less interested in helping me get the whole sorry mess back on track.<br /><br /><br />I need to talk to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">payplan</span> :(Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-46705033011142589542010-12-23T16:42:00.003+00:002010-12-23T17:09:58.484+00:00What to do? Your thoughts needed<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Apols</span> for the non postage of the last month, but genuinely there has been little to tell you guys.<br />Here's a brief <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">pre</span> festive update before I ask for your thoughts on my IVA <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">quandry</span><br /><br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">highpoints</span> would be<br />Not buying presents over the agreed budget for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Chrimble</span><br />Total honesty with Mr E when I feel I'm having a wobble<br />Not buying glossy enabling magazines ....well apart from the festive Grazia today *blush*<br />Deciding to go cloth nappies with DD2<br /><br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">lowpoints</span> would be<br />Bank account switch to co-op, complete effing disaster many direct debits returned <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">unpaid</span> and cause of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">uber</span> stress.<br />Buying 3 foodie type magazines and a green parenting mag "for recipe and nappy research purposes"<br />Spending <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">batloads</span> on heating, as have been leaving it on low overnight.<br /><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Ok</span> so now to my problem, the IVA people have come back to me with a draft proposal and I am scared witless of it! They propose that I spend more on paying off my creditors over the next 5 years than I am currently doing..<br /><br />DH and I have an unusual financial arrangement in that all of our money is pooled into "the people's money" and we have one account for bills and one account for spending on day to day stuff.<br /><br />At the moment £650 of the people's money every month goes on servicing our debt<br />They propose that £850 of the people's money should go to our creditors :(<br /><br />I'm thinking that this is probably do-able on paper if we live by their v strict and spartan budget BUT I will be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">banjaxing</span> my credit rating and be more worse off every month than I am now (making minimum repayments). Which isn't a very exciting or attractive proposition if I'm honest.<br />Now, the only reason to preserve a credit rating is if we ever move or in 5 years want to extend the house (very likely).<br />So do I go with the IVA and bugger my credit rating, be poor for 5 years but then have no debt apart from the mortgage OR do I not go with the IVA, continue to make minimum repayments but be better off each month and probably still have a metric fuck tonne of debt in 5 years (unless we win lottery or have massive windfall!) OR do I not do IVA and instead try and negotiate some kind of debt management plan with my creditors individually and without paying the IVA company a fee each month for their expertise...<br /><br />Your thoughts would be appreciated!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-66154188707374204292010-11-18T13:19:00.002+00:002010-11-18T14:27:21.746+00:00Slightly rippled with a flat undersideFingers crossed we have a result, I grasped the bull by the nettle (or similar) and called the bank at 8:05. Got straight through to an account switching specialist called Rhiannon who though slightly ditsy,<br />"no payments from the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">woolwich</span> have been attempted....nope none at all, oh apart from that one"<br /><br />seems to have come up trumps with a promise of all charges being dropped. My new bank are blaming the various direct debit holders and predictably the dd holders are blaming my new bank...happily no one seems to be blaming me!<br /><br />So I think we're <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ok</span>.<br /><br />In IVA news I have had a letter from one creditor already saying they are aware of my IVA proposal and can I continue to make payments until further notice, so that's proof positive of the IVA company doing stuff at their end.<br /><br />Feeling a bit better today.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-83380183430231418672010-11-17T20:51:00.002+00:002010-11-17T21:12:21.380+00:00worse times<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">AUGH</span>! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Blimmin</span> bank and their <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">blimmin</span> switching service have majorly cocked up.<br />I went into branch to check what was happening ( I think I blogged about it) and they told me 18 Nov was switching day so I dutifully bunged across enough money on the 16<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">th</span> to cover the months bills. So imagine my rage and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">irritation</span> to find a letter from my new bank saying that my gas, electric, council tax, mortgage, credit card and water payments have all been refused and I '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ve</span> been charged £19:50 for each returned payment.<br /><br />That's £120 in bank charges that I really can't afford and shouldn't be liable for, talk about a rubbish start to our banking relationship :(<br /><br />The direct debits were presented on the 15<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">th</span> and 16<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">th</span> of November but before I put the money across on the 16<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">th</span>, and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">definitely</span> before the switching date of the 18<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">th</span> which I even went into branch to confirm.<br /><br />I rang the bank at 18:30 and they told me the switching dept closed at 16:00, so I tried to calm down and had my tea, then I thought I 'd log onto the digital banking service to see how it was going and my password wouldn't work <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">ARGH</span>, phoned <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">internet</span> banking and they reset my password and confirmed that yes the switching people were the only ones who could help with all my returned direct debit issues and then said " they're open 8 til 8 so you've just missed them"<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH</span><br /><br />I now have to have a rubbish night's sleep because I am stressed to the eyeballs about this whole mess and will have returned payments and nasty letters from the various companies wanting their money.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">FFS</span>, I know it's only a minor blip and that fingers crossed I can get the charges taken off the account and I know that the IVA is going to have a far worse effect on my credit rating than one dodgy month of bungled payments but I have a pathological fear of red bills, they make me cry, seriously.<br /><br />Could do with some reassurance please brave followers, tell me it's going to be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">ok</span>?<br /><br />And I bought some second hand reusable nappies for £33 :( cheaper than disposables and better for the planet but I didn't check with DH first and that my friends is a slippery slippery slope.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-79977859255432970572010-11-11T20:25:00.004+00:002010-11-12T11:54:31.506+00:00Bad timesBad bad bad day<br /><br />Lunchtime stroll round M+S spent £44 on clothes for Em and the new baby :(<br />Then sat in cafe going WTF have I just done, felt sick and rubbish.<br />Home after work full of justification and wierd combination of self loathing and tried to justify it to DH. He just sighed and said "it's £44... we spent £130 4 days ago on clothes for Em and we owe your friend £60 for baby clothes"<br /><br />So I got all huffy and upset and said " if we can't afford £9 on half price baby vests then we shouldn't be having this baby"<br /><br />So he said " you're right we'll keep the vests"<br /><br />and then pregnant shopaholic said " No, you've spoiled it now, I'll take it all back"<br /><br />FFS I am a lost bloody cause, so we're sitting at our respective PC's assiduously not speaking to each other and I feel like crap on a stick because I can't control myself.<br /><br />I will be visiting the returns desk of M+S tomorrow and then I think the only answer is to leave my debit card at home and only carry enough cash for the bus and perhaps an emergency £5 in my drawer at work.<br /><br />It was all going reasonably well, I'm like a shopping bulimic :(Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-36924425667069437792010-11-10T18:03:00.003+00:002010-11-10T18:33:50.395+00:00Stop me NOW!<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span>, so good news on both the bank and IVA front.<br />My bank switching day is the 18<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> November, so I will withdraw my wages from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">RBS</span> on 17<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">th</span> and pay them in cash into co-op in order for there to be enough money to cover my monthly bills. I can then get my employer to pay all future wages straight into the co op, ta <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">daaaaaa</span> job done!<br /><br />IVA news, they have all my paperwork and I am now in the 3-4 week long proposal drafting period, then there is a 16 day window for my creditors to decide if they vote yes or no. If a majority of my creditors agree then the IVA is a go, if not then we can re draft and re approach them but the IVA company are confident I have a strong case and fingers crossed my IVA will be in place by Xmas...a bizarre festive gift but would take a weight off my mind.<br /><br />In less good news, I have joined a lovely forum called Natural Mamas which is as you've probably guessed aimed at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">hippyish</span> mums :)<br />I'm planning a more <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">eco</span> sustainable (and affordable!) baby this time around. We're borrowing reusable nappies from my sister in law and I am intending to "wear" DD2 as much as possible in a sling, wrap or Mei <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Tai</span>. It will be loads easier than schlepping about with a pushchair on the school run and when I pick up both girls from the childminder after I go back to work.<br />So why is this bad news?<br /><br />Well, slings, wraps and baby carriers are exactly the sort of product that pushes my shopping buttons. I have joined a forum, so I can research what is popular and well regarded, there is a second hand trade thread so I can buy a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">preloved</span> carrier and feel virtuous. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ARGH</span>!! This is a slippery slope and I am worried that I'll buy stuff that I don't need before the baby is born.<br />I have bought a wrap already £25 second hand from the forum and I'm going to have to step away from my PC before I do anything silly.<br /><br />Trying to be strong and wobblingJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-3097517365851618932010-11-07T08:28:00.002+00:002010-11-07T09:45:12.999+00:00Buying kids clothesSo it's been a week and no word from the IVA people, I will give them a nudge on Monday or Tuesday. I'm also in the process of changing my bank account over to a co-op cashminder account, fingers crossed all the direct debits go through with no issues, the bank have been managing all of that for me. I'm a bit concerned that my direct debits will be set up before my wages are paid in, but I'll have to trust that they have their timescales correct.<br /><br />In pregnancy news we have found out that bump is another girl and we are over the moon! However, I'm feeling slightly stupid for having got rid of the vast majority of DD1's clothing:( Still DD2 is due in March when it will still be chilly and DD1 was born in the very hot summer of 2006, so I'm consoling myself with the fact that most of her early baby clothes would be in the wrong season IYKWIM.<br /><br />I have bought 3 big bags of baby clothes from a friend whose daughter was born last April, 170 something items for £60. She's on the unpaid section of her Mat leave and felt awkward charging me, but as she had already listed them on ebay and less than 50p is good value per item I consulted with Dh and he approved the purchase.<br /><br />DD1 has just had a massive growth spurt and after an embarrasing drop off at the childminders where we realised her t shirt and trousers were both too short for her ( the shame!) both Dh and I agreed that we had to buy her some new clothes. so Yesterday we spent £120 on new clothes and pjs for her! Dh came with me and if I'm honest we spent more together than I would have alone BUT the difference is that this will be her entire winter wardrobe as opposed to me spending £20 on a lunchtime on random clothes that will add up to more that £120 over the course of the winter.<br /><br />I haven't bought any clothes for me (other than ebay) or any cosmetics since my naughty elf spree last month so that's good.<br /><br />Waiting to here on the IVA is stressful, it's always in the back of my mind so I need to talk to them and find out where we're at.<br />More soon!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-84714446809998609442010-11-01T11:41:00.003+00:002010-11-02T10:37:03.151+00:00Back from the brinkI nearly slipped back into old habits last night, was in a grump with DH (he'd likened me to his mother...not a good move!) and so was sulking in front of my PC. I found myself browsing the New Look website and idly popped a few maternity items into my basket, to be fair to me I do need some maternity jeans urgently...but there I was looking at £80 worth of clothes on a website that takes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">paypal</span>. I actually hit the checkout button and went to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">paypal</span> to pay for the garments, I wish I could tell you that I pulled myself back from the brink and cancelled the transaction.<br /><br />Nope, I cancelled the transaction because I don't have a debit card linked to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">paypal</span> anymore and the New Look website wants instant payment via a card funded <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">paypal</span> transaction.<br />I actually sat there and tried to figure out how to put my debit card details up there without DH noticing that £80 was missing from our current account and that I was wearing a lovely new cardigan ( grey wool with lilac velvet bow detail, lush!)<br /><br />I am trying so hard I really am, but last night I would have failed . Just as well I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">de</span>-linked my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">paypal</span> and debit card back in April! Moments like last night are the reason I shouldn't be allowed access to credit at all, ever.<br /><br />Feeling weak and rubbish :(<br /><br />I did win two <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ebay</span> auctions last night and have an H+M maternity denim skirt (£6) and some new look maternity jeans (£5.98) on their way. Paid for with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">paypal</span> balance, no "actual" money involved :)<br /><br />I also did a bit more festive shopping yesterday, loving the Boots 3 for 2 offer! Again paid for with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">paypal</span> balance so that's good and frugal of me.<br />Am clearly a long way from being "a recovered shopaholic", but happy to be a work in progress.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-66688511473033791422010-10-30T17:31:00.002+01:002010-10-30T18:11:02.427+01:00Back from hols and the paperwork is in the post<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">So</span>, back from a week in Centre <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Parcs</span> and we had a great time. I was a pillar of restraint in the Aqua Sana shop after my birthday present treatment of a "mum to be oily rubdown and facial". In years gone by I would have fallen for the therapist <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">recommendations</span> hook , line and sinker and bought £50 worth of product...but I did not!<br /><br />Been home for a week and have made progress with the IVA, it's been nearly a month since I made the call to see if we'd be eligible! Finally I have all the paperwork together including the house valuation (worth a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">smidgen</span> more than it was 5 years go) and I posted it all off today. Hopefully the IVA will be on the way to being agreed by Christmas, and fingers crossed it will be in place by March when the small person arrives.<br /><br />I bought some Christmas presents today in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Sainsbury's</span> half price toy event, it was bedlam in there but I got good bargains for my niece and nephew. I also got a couple of Disney DVDs for DD1 as they were on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">BOGOF</span>, so they can form part of her festive haul!<br /><br /> I am noticing that I resent spending money on frivolous stuff, and therefore making fewer spontaneous purchases of pointless stuff, which is pretty bloody amazing really. I haven't bought a women's glossy magazine in months, I have bought a couple of cookery magazines but as they get incorporated into the kitchen bookshelf I consider them better value ;)<br /><br />It is totally gutting when I work out that if I'd not been an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">over spender</span> for the last 17 years we could be living in a much bigger house, or I could be working part time as £600 a month wouldn't be spent servicing bloody debts!! I really hope that at 36 I'm young enough to still make this a permanent lifestyle change and enjoy the financial benefits.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-70127931739400034362010-10-14T20:26:00.003+01:002010-10-14T20:50:11.455+01:00Things I bought and the kindness of strangersAfter my little brain purge on the subject of things I want but can't have, a truly amazing thing happened. A perfect stranger who doesn't know me from Eve offered to send me a barely used tube of Liz Earle Cleans + Polish. Well bugger me there are kind people in the world!<br />To say I'm touched is a mahoosive understatement, I may even have had a little cry.<br />Thank you again perfect stranger :)<br /><br />My resolve soared to a new height this evening when I opened the post and handed over a perfectly gorgeous unused pristine M+S chargecard to DH and asked him to cut it up. I didn't freeze it as I've defrosted my plastic before now when in the grip of a buying frenzy, I didn't get him to keep it in his wallet as I've snuck in there before for plastic that I'd asked him to keep out of my paws. I have done some truly shameful things in order to maintain my spendability which is why I know I'm a recovering addict and not just a spoiled tart with impulse control issues!<br /><br />The M+S card represented a worry free Xmas, I could buy a load of gifts and food bung them on a card and forget about it til February. I'm really trying to make a change and live honestly without crapping myself when the post arrives.<br /><br />I did however buy the girl a new T shirt £5 and new winter coat £17 in my lunch hour but both were paid for with actual cash as opposed to any sort of credit which is ok, the winter coat is actually needful too as it was decidedly parky here this morning. The t shirt is mainly just very cute and has a squirrel on it.<br /><br />I've also made a list of people to buy presents for and if we spend £15 max on close friends and family it still comes to £270 +£20 on in law aunts and uncles £290 and then £100 on the girl because we always go bonkers and can't help ourselves = £390 Holy Handbag that's a lot of cash! Just as well we have that £600 in the savings account.<br /><br />I know we should probably spend less on our daughter, but she is too easy to buy for and is v impressed by a dressing up costume and a pair of sparkly shoes. I'll try and keep it to £75 but honestly Dh is worse than me when it comes to buying for the girl.<br />This will be our first Christmas without spending on any sort of credit card, we'll still have a brilliant time :)Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-78126271590398741762010-10-13T09:48:00.002+01:002012-08-13T13:00:24.319+01:00Things I want to buyI am unexpectedly at home today with DD who has a stinking cold and a temperature. She's wrapped up waching the Disney channel and eating crumpets so I'm just going to have a quick brain purge of the things I want to buy but won't.<br />
<br />
Liz Earle cleanse and polish - nearly finished my current tube and I love this cleanser (along with everyone else in the blogoshpere!) but at £13 a go I can't afford it right now so NO!<br />
<br />
New clothes for DD to wear on holiday - traditionally I buy her something new and snuggly to wear on our hols as we have been away in October for the last 3 years. However she has lots of clothes that fit her and I'm not going to bung it on the Next account which is what I'd usually do, so NO!<br />
<br />
New boots for me- I am hankering after the new UGG biker boots, sensible heel for slippy pavements and toasty and warm, but at £250 they are absolutely staying in the shop!<br />
<br />
Stuff for the new baby- nope I'm not buying anything until the 20 week scan is out of the way and then I will make a sensible list with DH and reuse as much DD baby stuff as possible.<br />
<br />
Christmas presents - I am going to avoid impuse buying and make a proper list of who we are buying for and how much their gift budget is. I'll try and stagger the buying if possible across the Nov and Dec pay packets. We've also got that windfall £600 in the savings account to use for festive spends.<br />
<br />
No IVA news at present, still waiting on the various bits of peperwork etc before I can get the ball rolling. Hopefully after our holiday we can get things moving properly.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-47215864725292586872010-10-11T18:31:00.003+01:002010-10-12T15:59:49.021+01:00Useful dayToday I posted the ebay thing I sold for £52, made a loss of £4 on the p+p, I'm too lazy to weigh stuff at home and use the online price generator. Lesson learned there, I must be more on the ball with charging correct postage.<br /><br />Also made calls to day to get some more of the IVA needed paperwork sent to us, 3 months bank statements, cat insurance, loan redemption figure and mortgage statements. Could take 10 working days for them to arrive, but it feels proactive to have made those calls and not buried my head in the sand.<br /><br /><br />Trying to get an estate agent through the door is a proving a little trickier, but am sure persistance will pay off.<br /><br />I'm on the countdown to our holiday, we're off to Centre Parcs for a week next week. Paid for out of "real" money a couple of months ago, I had a big ebay sell and used the cash to pay for the hols. We have some money put aside for holiday spends and will also use the money that we're saving by not using the childminder that week too.<br />So a guilt free holiday hopefully!!<br /><br />Tonight is leftover roast dinner pie which is an adapted version of this recipe by Jamie Oliver<br /><a href="http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/t...sweet-leek-pie" target="_blank">http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/turkey-recipes/turkey-and-sweet-leek-pie</a><br />I always feel frugal and virtuous when I manage to make a roast chicken last 3 days worth of dinners, my Home Economics teaching Grandma would be proud :)Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-926334403443322222010-10-09T19:31:00.003+01:002010-10-09T19:46:10.931+01:00OnwardsI made a start today trying to collate all the paperwork the IVA people want, this involved going through the expandable box file which is supposed to be a neat filing solution for all our paperwork.<br /><br />HA!<br /><br />Needless to say it was a total shambles, but I did find it quite cathartic to sort out what we need to keep and what can be shredded. I've probably got 2/3rds of the required paperwork and will need to call the bank and my cat insurance company(!) to get the rest. I also need to get the house valued just in case a re-mortgage is necessary in year 4 of the IVA, so will be blagging an estate agent on Monday.<br /><br />We went out for lunch today at Chiquitos, which was a treat I think because I blubbed all over DH last night before falling asleep on him at 10:15pm...pregnancy is sooo attractive ;)<br /><br />After lunch we looked at pushchairs for the new baby, DH is firm that we need a new one and is equally firm that we'll buy it in the January sales. Old me would plan to buy an aspirational brand and lash it on the credit card and then lie about what it cost (still tempting to be honest).But I shall be strong and will get something more modest than the Stokke Xplory which makes my heart sing<br /><br />An Xplory would probably look a bit daft on the number 77 bus anyhow.<br /><br />Onward and upward dear readers, each day is a battle to not buy rubbish that I really don't need. Today I didn't buy a copy of Elle magazine which had a free Clinique lipgloss, as Elle if full of adverts for even more shiny things which I can't afford.<br />I also sold something on ebay for £52 so that's useful too, I'll put in the overdraft account I think, unless I leave it in paypal and use it for Xmas shopping?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-85282945186067580812010-10-08T16:54:00.002+01:002010-10-08T17:05:01.408+01:00Low Low LowFeeling low and decidedly weepy, hoping it's just my preg hormones but I feel overwhelmed today. I got a list of the paperwork I have to send to the IVA company and it looks like this:<br /><br />All of these will be tricky to lay my hands on, but the ones in red are going to be a total pain in the arse and I don't know if I have the energy at the moment.<br /><br />Yes I know I have to have the energy but I feel lethargic and pissed off.<br /><br />1. 1 x Signed Copy of Authority to Act (Copy attached)<br />2. Latest credit card and/or store card statements<br />3. <span style="color:#ff0000;"> Original loan agreements and written balance of loan account<br /></span>4. Latest letters from debt collection agencies/solicitors<br />5. Copy of Photo ID (passport; photo driving licence; official ID card)<br />6. Last 3 months bank statements for all accounts held by you<br />7. Last 3 Months wage slips<br />8. Copy of council tax statement<br />9. <span style="color:#ff0000;"> Copy of latest mortgage statement and a mortgage redemption statement</span><br />10. Could you advise whether you have a fixed rate mortgage or if the rate is due to change during the term of the IVA (other than standard BoE rate changes)<br />11. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Copy of home valuation<br /></span>12. Evidence of any benefits e.g. Child benefit, Tax credits<br />13. Evidence of child care costs<br />14. Copies of all insurance policies (Motor, Buildings & Contents, Pet, etc.)<br />15. <span style="color:#ff0000;">All receipts for any petrol you use from now on<br /></span>16. Copy of any pension policy together with evidence of contributions being made<br />17. Information relating to any endowments/shares and their surrender value<br />18. Details of any debts with family or friends<br /><br /><br /><br />Meh and double meh<br />Oh and the consolidation loan for Dh isn't affordable so I'm not sure what we're going to do about that. He will be liable for the overdraft when the IVA kicks off, but only 60% of it which the IVA company think we can afford to pay back at £160 a month.....<br /><br />I want to win the lottery, I feel numb and sad that all of this is chuffing self inflicted.<br />Sorry the general whiny tone, I'll be ok again tomorrowJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-30561106697056681742010-10-07T14:44:00.002+01:002010-10-07T15:05:20.835+01:00News on the IVA<span style="color:#663300;">"You should hear from your Case Administrator Darryl - either today or tomorrow. Before your proposal is drafted we need to collate all your paperwork and get final balances from your creditors. Then you have a telephone meeting with Melanie to finalise the proposal afterwhich it gets sent to you to approve. This can take 6-8 weeks."</span><br /><span style="color:#663300;"></span><br /><span style="color:#663300;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">So there it is, I am on the path that leads to the road to freedom from debt! There are a couple of forms to fill in and letters to send to creditors etc but I'll crack on with those tonight. The IVA company have two payment schedules in mind, one that fluctuates for the first year and includes a period of no payments when I'm on maternity leave or a lower payment that would continue for the full 60 months. I favour making identical payments for 60 months, and will see if the creditors are happy to go with that.</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">DH will be paying off his credit card and our joint overdraft with a consolidation loan, so he gets to keep a good credit rating and will put his credit card in the freezer to avoid spending on a whim. Incidentally I have previously frozen all of my store and credit cards to try and curb my spending...it didn't work, I'd just defrost them in the microwave! I clearly have a self control problem :(</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">Spent lunch browsing in House of Fraser, is it pathetic that I nearly cried because I couldn't buy any of the lovely things I wanted? Yes it is pathetic, my value isn't defined by the things I own. I am a good mother, a hard worker, a loyal friend and I'm not going to define myself or others by what we possess anymore.</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span>Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623173268865322127.post-72243739520892752372010-10-06T12:45:00.002+01:002010-10-06T12:51:22.693+01:00Is this bonkers?If DH were to consolidate he'd rather get a loan fron his current bank the HSBC, but as I'm a joint account holder this could be jeopardised by my (hopefully) imminent IVA.<br /><br />In order to consolidate and keep his financial footprint seperate from mine, we might take my name off the joint HSBC account into which his wages (our spending money) is paid. This would leave me with no access to cash other than asking him for money at the start of each week.<br /><br />I'm honestly not that bothered, I do trust that he won't run away and leave me penniless and honestly there's a small part of me that would almost be relieved to not have any access to cash or credit and therefore temptation.<br /><br />My wages would still be paid into the new Co-op account, but that would strictly be for bills only.<br /><br />What do you think? Is it bonkers to pass control of all our spending money to DH? Should my inner feminist be freaking out?<br /><br />Obviously we'd have the same amount of spending money but I just won't be able to access cash on a whim. In 5 years when the IVA is done and dusted and I'm a habitual non spender and reformed shopaholic then I could start up my own bank account with debit card etc.<br /><br />He's as beholden to me for our bills to be paid everymonth, as my wages (which are larger) cover the bulk of our household overheads bar groceries and petrol.<br /><br />Any thoughts?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04550933213144023582noreply@blogger.com1