stopping-shopping

Apols for the non postage of the last month, but genuinely there has been little to tell you guys. Here's a brief pre festive update before I ask for your thoughts on my IVA quandry The highpoints would be Not buying presents over the agreed budget for Chrimble Total honesty with Mr E when I feel I'm having a wobble Not buying glossy enabling magazines ....well apart from the festive Grazia today *blush* Deciding to go cloth nappies with DD2 The lowpoints would be Bank account switch to co-op, complete effing disaster many direct debits returned unpaid and cause of uber stress. Buying 3 foodie type magazines and a green parenting mag "for recipe and nappy research purposes" Spending batloads on heating, as have been leaving it on low overnight. Ok so now to my problem, the IVA people have come back to me with a draft proposal and I am scared witless of it! They propose that I spend more on paying off my creditors over the next 5 years than I am currently doing

Fingers crossed we have a result, I grasped the bull by the nettle (or similar) and called the bank at 8:05. Got straight through to an account switching specialist called Rhiannon who though slightly ditsy, "no payments from the woolwich have been attempted....nope none at all, oh apart from that one" seems to have come up trumps with a promise of all charges being dropped. My new bank are blaming the various direct debit holders and predictably the dd holders are blaming my new bank...happily no one seems to be blaming me! So I think we're ok . In IVA news I have had a letter from one creditor already saying they are aware of my IVA proposal and can I continue to make payments until further notice, so that's proof positive of the IVA company doing stuff at their end. Feeling a bit better today.

AUGH ! Blimmin bank and their blimmin switching service have majorly cocked up. I went into branch to check what was happening ( I think I blogged about it) and they told me 18 Nov was switching day so I dutifully bunged across enough money on the 16 th to cover the months bills. So imagine my rage and irritation to find a letter from my new bank saying that my gas, electric, council tax, mortgage, credit card and water payments have all been refused and I ' ve been charged £19:50 for each returned payment. That's £120 in bank charges that I really can't afford and shouldn't be liable for, talk about a rubbish start to our banking relationship :( The direct debits were presented on the 15 th and 16 th of November but before I put the money across on the 16 th , and definitely before the switching date of the 18 th which I even went into branch to confirm. I rang the bank at 18:30 and they told me the switching dept closed at 16:00, so I tried to calm down and h

Bad bad bad day Lunchtime stroll round M+S spent £44 on clothes for Em and the new baby :( Then sat in cafe going WTF have I just done, felt sick and rubbish. Home after work full of justification and wierd combination of self loathing and tried to justify it to DH. He just sighed and said "it's £44... we spent £130 4 days ago on clothes for Em and we owe your friend £60 for baby clothes" So I got all huffy and upset and said " if we can't afford £9 on half price baby vests then we shouldn't be having this baby" So he said " you're right we'll keep the vests" and then pregnant shopaholic said " No, you've spoiled it now, I'll take it all back" FFS I am a lost bloody cause, so we're sitting at our respective PC's assiduously not speaking to each other and I feel like crap on a stick because I can't control myself. I will be visiting the returns desk of M+S tomorrow and then I think the only answer is to leav

Ok , so good news on both the bank and IVA front. My bank switching day is the 18 th November, so I will withdraw my wages from RBS on 17 th and pay them in cash into co-op in order for there to be enough money to cover my monthly bills. I can then get my employer to pay all future wages straight into the co op, ta daaaaaa job done! IVA news, they have all my paperwork and I am now in the 3-4 week long proposal drafting period, then there is a 16 day window for my creditors to decide if they vote yes or no. If a majority of my creditors agree then the IVA is a go, if not then we can re draft and re approach them but the IVA company are confident I have a strong case and fingers crossed my IVA will be in place by Xmas...a bizarre festive gift but would take a weight off my mind. In less good news, I have joined a lovely forum called Natural Mamas which is as you've probably guessed aimed at hippyish mums :) I'm planning a more eco sustainable (and affordable!) baby this ti

So it's been a week and no word from the IVA people, I will give them a nudge on Monday or Tuesday. I'm also in the process of changing my bank account over to a co-op cashminder account, fingers crossed all the direct debits go through with no issues, the bank have been managing all of that for me. I'm a bit concerned that my direct debits will be set up before my wages are paid in, but I'll have to trust that they have their timescales correct. In pregnancy news we have found out that bump is another girl and we are over the moon! However, I'm feeling slightly stupid for having got rid of the vast majority of DD1's clothing:( Still DD2 is due in March when it will still be chilly and DD1 was born in the very hot summer of 2006, so I'm consoling myself with the fact that most of her early baby clothes would be in the wrong season IYKWIM. I have bought 3 big bags of baby clothes from a friend whose daughter was born last April, 170 something items for £60.

I nearly slipped back into old habits last night, was in a grump with DH (he'd likened me to his mother...not a good move!) and so was sulking in front of my PC. I found myself browsing the New Look website and idly popped a few maternity items into my basket, to be fair to me I do need some maternity jeans urgently...but there I was looking at £80 worth of clothes on a website that takes paypal . I actually hit the checkout button and went to paypal to pay for the garments, I wish I could tell you that I pulled myself back from the brink and cancelled the transaction. Nope, I cancelled the transaction because I don't have a debit card linked to paypal anymore and the New Look website wants instant payment via a card funded paypal transaction. I actually sat there and tried to figure out how to put my debit card details up there without DH noticing that £80 was missing from our current account and that I was wearing a lovely new cardigan ( grey wool with lilac velvet bow det

So , back from a week in Centre Parcs and we had a great time. I was a pillar of restraint in the Aqua Sana shop after my birthday present treatment of a "mum to be oily rubdown and facial". In years gone by I would have fallen for the therapist recommendations hook , line and sinker and bought £50 worth of product...but I did not! Been home for a week and have made progress with the IVA, it's been nearly a month since I made the call to see if we'd be eligible! Finally I have all the paperwork together including the house valuation (worth a smidgen more than it was 5 years go) and I posted it all off today. Hopefully the IVA will be on the way to being agreed by Christmas, and fingers crossed it will be in place by March when the small person arrives. I bought some Christmas presents today in the Sainsbury's half price toy event, it was bedlam in there but I got good bargains for my niece and nephew. I also got a couple of Disney DVDs for DD1 as they were on

After my little brain purge on the subject of things I want but can't have, a truly amazing thing happened. A perfect stranger who doesn't know me from Eve offered to send me a barely used tube of Liz Earle Cleans + Polish. Well bugger me there are kind people in the world! To say I'm touched is a mahoosive understatement, I may even have had a little cry. Thank you again perfect stranger :) My resolve soared to a new height this evening when I opened the post and handed over a perfectly gorgeous unused pristine M+S chargecard to DH and asked him to cut it up. I didn't freeze it as I've defrosted my plastic before now when in the grip of a buying frenzy, I didn't get him to keep it in his wallet as I've snuck in there before for plastic that I'd asked him to keep out of my paws. I have done some truly shameful things in order to maintain my spendability which is why I know I'm a recovering addict and not just a spoiled tart with impulse control issue

I am unexpectedly at home today with DD who has a stinking cold and a temperature. She's wrapped up waching the Disney channel and eating crumpets so I'm just going to have a quick brain purge of the things I want to buy but won't. Liz Earle cleanse and polish - nearly finished my current tube and I love this cleanser (along with everyone else in the blogoshpere!) but at £13 a go I can't afford it right now so NO! New clothes for DD to wear on holiday - traditionally I buy her something new and snuggly to wear on our hols as we have been away in October for the last 3 years. However she has lots of clothes that fit her and I'm not going to bung it on the Next account which is what I'd usually do, so NO! New boots for me- I am hankering after the new UGG biker boots, sensible heel for slippy pavements and toasty and warm, but at £250 they are absolutely staying in the shop! Stuff for the new baby- nope I'm not buying anything until the 20 week scan is

Today I posted the ebay thing I sold for £52, made a loss of £4 on the p+p, I'm too lazy to weigh stuff at home and use the online price generator. Lesson learned there, I must be more on the ball with charging correct postage. Also made calls to day to get some more of the IVA needed paperwork sent to us, 3 months bank statements, cat insurance, loan redemption figure and mortgage statements. Could take 10 working days for them to arrive, but it feels proactive to have made those calls and not buried my head in the sand. Trying to get an estate agent through the door is a proving a little trickier, but am sure persistance will pay off. I'm on the countdown to our holiday, we're off to Centre Parcs for a week next week. Paid for out of "real" money a couple of months ago, I had a big ebay sell and used the cash to pay for the hols. We have some money put aside for holiday spends and will also use the money that we're saving by not using the childminder that w

I made a start today trying to collate all the paperwork the IVA people want, this involved going through the expandable box file which is supposed to be a neat filing solution for all our paperwork. HA! Needless to say it was a total shambles, but I did find it quite cathartic to sort out what we need to keep and what can be shredded. I've probably got 2/3rds of the required paperwork and will need to call the bank and my cat insurance company(!) to get the rest. I also need to get the house valued just in case a re-mortgage is necessary in year 4 of the IVA, so will be blagging an estate agent on Monday. We went out for lunch today at Chiquitos, which was a treat I think because I blubbed all over DH last night before falling asleep on him at 10:15pm...pregnancy is sooo attractive ;) After lunch we looked at pushchairs for the new baby, DH is firm that we need a new one and is equally firm that we'll buy it in the January sales. Old me would plan to buy an aspirational brand

Feeling low and decidedly weepy, hoping it's just my preg hormones but I feel overwhelmed today. I got a list of the paperwork I have to send to the IVA company and it looks like this: All of these will be tricky to lay my hands on, but the ones in red are going to be a total pain in the arse and I don't know if I have the energy at the moment. Yes I know I have to have the energy but I feel lethargic and pissed off. 1. 1 x Signed Copy of Authority to Act (Copy attached) 2. Latest credit card and/or store card statements 3. Original loan agreements and written balance of loan account 4. Latest letters from debt collection agencies/solicitors 5. Copy of Photo ID (passport; photo driving licence; official ID card) 6. Last 3 months bank statements for all accounts held by you 7. Last 3 Months wage slips 8. Copy of council tax statement 9. Copy of latest mortgage statement and a mortgage redemption statement 10. Could you advi

"You should hear from your Case Administrator Darryl - either today or tomorrow. Before your proposal is drafted we need to collate all your paperwork and get final balances from your creditors. Then you have a telephone meeting with Melanie to finalise the proposal afterwhich it gets sent to you to approve. This can take 6-8 weeks." So there it is, I am on the path that leads to the road to freedom from debt! There are a couple of forms to fill in and letters to send to creditors etc but I'll crack on with those tonight. The IVA company have two payment schedules in mind, one that fluctuates for the first year and includes a period of no payments when I'm on maternity leave or a lower payment that would continue for the full 60 months. I favour making identical payments for 60 months, and will see if the creditors are happy to go with that. DH will be paying off his credit card and our joint overdraft with a consolidation loan, so he gets to keep a good credit rat

If DH were to consolidate he'd rather get a loan fron his current bank the HSBC, but as I'm a joint account holder this could be jeopardised by my (hopefully) imminent IVA. In order to consolidate and keep his financial footprint seperate from mine, we might take my name off the joint HSBC account into which his wages (our spending money) is paid. This would leave me with no access to cash other than asking him for money at the start of each week. I'm honestly not that bothered, I do trust that he won't run away and leave me penniless and honestly there's a small part of me that would almost be relieved to not have any access to cash or credit and therefore temptation. My wages would still be paid into the new Co-op account, but that would strictly be for bills only. What do you think? Is it bonkers to pass control of all our spending money to DH? Should my inner feminist be freaking out? Obviously we'd have the same amount of spending money but I just won'

I've heard from the IVA company they want to propose an IVA for me and a DMP with a sister company for DH, the snageroo is that I'm less than enamoured with the sister company. I initially approached them about the IVA thing and they weren't reassuringly thorough AND they wanted a £600 payment upfront before the IVA had been agreed by my creditors so hmmmmm is my thinking on them being in charge of DH's DMP. For those not in debt hell acronym mode : IVA Individual Voluntary Agreement- legally binding, done after 5 years writes off interest and possibly some of the debt, but banjaxes credit rating. DMP Debt management plan - not legally binding no guarantee that creditors will freeze interest no debt written off and banjaxes credit rating. It's possible that DH would be better to take out a consolidation loan and pay off his credit card and the overdraft he is joint liable for. When I go on an IVA the bank can pursue him for all the money we jointly owe, so his DMP

Such an uphill struggle at the moment. we haven't heard anymore yet from the IVA company, but I'm trying to not to worry unduly. The adviser thought we were a strong case so I'll just have to let them do their paperwork and come back to us with a proposal or not... Spending has been ok, bought some maternity tights from New Look in the sale £1 and a dress and a pair of black cord trousers from Ebay for a grand total of £13, again from the paypal balance. I do actually need maternity clothes, as I charity shopped all from my last pregnancy because I never thought we would have another child (pnd, a whole other blogs worth of material!). I have another item on ebay at the moment which *should* bring in about £40 all being well. I've paid a cheque for £130 into the overdraft from Hell rather than into our "spending money" account, so that is pretty positive. Need to start thinking about a budget for Christmas, we had a windfall of £600 from Dh's ex employers

So it is 5 months since my last post and I should tell you what's been happening. I'm still on the straight and narrow and haven't taken out more credit since April. We are in the process of starting an IVA (individual voluntary arrangement) which would agree a repayment schedule with our creditors and see the debt cleared after 60 months of payments. IVAs are legally binding and have to be arranged by an insolvency practitioner, they are one step up from bankrupcy and would nuke our credit rating. Having no credit is probably the best thing for us as a family as we have quite spectacularly proved we can't manage credit :( I have now sold all of my Mulberry handbags, which felt virtuous at the time but now I just feel like a woman bereft of designer shinies. I should have put the money from their sale back on my CC but it inevitably got swallowed up in day to day expenses. I've also been ebaying other items that I won't miss and might raise some spending mone

My back is a lot better so I was able to go out at lunchtime today and have a bit of a browse in the shops for the first time this week. I was very restrained but found it a constant struggle to talk myself out of purchases. I'm needing (yep actually needing) a new pair of flat summer sandals something like mock birkenstocks or havaiana flip flops. The problem is I'm hard on footwear, I destroy cheap shoes in a matter of weeks and so it’s a false economy to buy £6 sandals from Primark which I'll shred before the summer really arrives. I have seen a lovely pair of white leather flat slip on mules in M+S but they are £35 and I can't afford them...so I walked straight past. I have previously sworn off toe post sandals as I always find them very uncomfortable, in fact I remember two summers ago throwing every pair of flip flops in the house out after developing a painful blister. Allegedly havaianas are the pinnacle of flip flop comfort and longevity, a forum I frequent

Splendidly non spendy weekend. Saturday: went to the nearby children's farm with rare breed animals with DH, DD and DG ( dearest grandpa aka my Dad). DG paid for our admission and treated us to ice creams! DD fell in the playarea and did no harm to herself but as I picked her up I felt something horrible happen to my back and I'm now in a lot of pain. I talked to my Dad honestly about my "problem" and although he isn't entirely convinced that it's an addiction he was very supportive and didn't get angry. He got a little judgemental but I told him "yes I've been stupid" and "no I wasn't thinking of the long term consequences, but I am resolved to sort this out once and for all" It was the right thing to do I think, the more people who are supporting me, the harder it will be to slide back into old habits. DH and I went to the cinema on Sat night with DG babysitting...we may have spent a lot on ice cream, in my defence it made my

Progress! I have organised collection of bedside drawers (monday) I have returned top to M+S ( bought 10 days ago, worn once then shrank in the wash) I resisted exchanging top for something of similar value. I looked at M+S sale and was resolute against the lure of the children's wear section. I picked up tights £3, socks £2, top £4 and dressing gown £3 all for my 3 yo DD but put them all back as she doesn't NEED any of those things right now. So £153 worth of things will be credited to the bank account and I didn't spend £12 on unnecessary items. Awesome work, go me, I officially ROCK! I was a bit wobbly after leaving the shop so had to ring DH to tell him how strong I was being..which probably means I'm not that strong yet, but hey ho it's a good start don't you think?

Today I am sorely tempted to stray from the path of nonspenditude . About 6 weeks ago at the start of my latest binge I ordered 2 bedside tables from a UK catalogue company ( littlewoods ) for £69 each. Today they were delivered while we were at work. I had been meaning to cancel the order and got as far as ringing littlewoods on Tuesday but the call centre must have been on lunch because a nice recorded message told me to try later. So cancelling slipped my mind and here they are in all their flatpack glory. I have to call Littlewoods and get a collection number and then ring the shipping company and arrange a collection and I would much rather just keep them! I'm rationalising like a mad woman: " the money has already left the bank" " we need new bedside drawers" ---we totally do! "£69 is a very good price and you have been looking for nice bedside drawers for ages " ---the past 8 years actually! But the cold, hard, inescapable truth is that we ca

Who are you? How do you define yourself? Right now I feel vulnerable and flimsy, I've just cut myself off from two of my most abused shopping options. Amazon have a great time saving option called "one click" ordering, you simply ask the site to remember your address and payment details and then you can order anything with one click. This is a very bad thing if you are an impulse driven instant gratification shopper, ie me! I love Amazon, they stock many of my favourite disparate things : Le Creuset pans, Estee Lauder moisturiser and the more obvious books and dvds, but tonight I cut myself off. I have deleted my credit card details from the one click system and as I'm not physically in posession of a credit card I can't re-enter them in a weak moment. Paypal is my other nemesis, send money to etsy vendors at the drop of a hat, oooh yes please! Buy things drunkenly from ebay late at night mmmmmmm that's me. Well not anymore it isn't, I have deleted my cred

Here's an example of how I'm changing my behaviour, totally obvious to the normal spenders out there but for me a real breakthrough. Yesterday I decided that as I love Kat von D I should look at her website, browse a bit and see a link to Sephora for her makeup range. Beauty products are a total trigger for me, I have so much stockpiled that I could probably do make up for a west end run of Rocky Horror. Inner monologue "I like KvD, I'd like to look a bit like her, *browses website* KvD did a make up line with Sephora?! *go to Sephora.com* Sephora don't ship to the UK...bum :( Maybe someone on ebay is selling to the UK, I'll just look *open ebay window* oooh £26 for 8 eyeshadows in a funky palette, available for £2 p+P AND IT'S ON A BUY IT NOW *start to smile as I imagine getting compliments on eyeshadow* I could BIN and pay through paypal, my CC is linked to paypal so two clicks and bingo I will own a ltd edition sephora palette and everyone will love my e

"Hello my name is Jen and I'm addicted to shopping" I am starting this blog in an effort to change. My life is comfortable and happy bar this shameful secret. This weekend I confessed all to my husband, who wasn't exactly surprised by my admissions but is I think surprised that I'm identifying as an addict. Addict is the correct word to describe me. I fixate on a particular product and enjoy researching it online, could be a handbag, a brand of makeup or a tent, I'm a unilateral shopper! Take last weekend for example, I had decided that we needed to replace our family tent with a canvas bell tent and so I joined fora and researched the different options even emailing the two main suppliers to negotiate a discount for buying a tent, carpet and inner tent in one fell swoop.....BONKERS! Our tent is fine and is less than two years old and yet I was nano seconds away from ordering £700 worth of camping kit on a CC with 16% interest. I